Initially I was convinced that I never wanted children. I’m not entirely sure why, I think it was just not something I saw in my plans when I was younger. My poor husband Sam was told, in no uncertain terms, on our second date that I never wanted children. I didn’t want to give him any false hope. But not long after we started dating and I realised what a brilliant Dad he would be I totally changed my mind. We got married on our second anniversary and one of the biggest reasons for us was that we definitely wanted to be husband and wife before starting a family.
After being married for two years we decided at the end of 2014 that we would start trying for a baby the following year. The timings were dictated slightly by the fact that I was due to change jobs in the February so we had to put our plans on hold for a few months to let me settle in and get closer to the end of my probation period before getting pregnant. This was the first “overthinking” moment with multiple conversations with friends who had had children and my Mum: “How long did it take you to get pregnant?”; “Is it frowned upon to get pregnant so soon after starting a new job?”; “How did you track your cycles whilst trying?*”…etc. Oh, and factor in multiple Google and baby website searches about it all.
Fast-forward to 6th July.
I headed down to London for a week with our Digital Marketing Agency to kick off a new work website project with my colleague. This meant lots of workshops every day but then a guaranteed big night out courtesy of the agency on Thursday. As the week progressed I just felt different and became pretty convinced I was pregnant. I know that’s not the most helpful description of early pregnancy symptoms – I had already done lots of Google searching for symptoms for the few weeks before this and some of them are pretty vague and can also be PMT signs, not helpful. Other than definitely feeling different all of my veins on the front and back of my hands and forearms were really prominent and that’s when I just knew I was pregnant. I was due on on the Thursday/Friday but I had no signs of it appearing so I was cautious on the Thursday – I wanted to get the balance between not really drinking “just in case” and not drawing too much attention to the fact I wasn’t partaking in the wild night out as expected. I got away with two shandies with dinner and then had a quiet word with my colleague and friend at the agency to let them know why I couldn’t down shots that night.
Taking the test
I could barely wait to do a test but barely saw Sam when I got back after a long week so I stupidly waited until the Saturday morning after he had gone to work to do the test. I was so nervous it was going to be negative I made the silly decision to do it in the morning, alone! After watching about 2 minutes going by on my phone’s timer I saw the egg timer on the screen be joined by the unmistakable declaration that I was in fact “Pregnant”. I couldn’t quite believe it and was so excited! Then I instantly regretted the fact I couldn’t celebrate with Sam so I tried to ring him at work but just got his answer phone. I was nearly bursting with the news so phoned my older sister as I had to tell someone. I felt a mixture of relived to be sharing my news but guilty about telling her first. Luckily, Sam phoned me back so I could tell him before sending him a photo of the positive test. Needless to say he sounded shell-shocked but so pleased, it was lovely.
I did a little bit of research and downloaded a couple of Apps to track my periods and fertile days etc. for whilst we were trying. First I used the free version of Menstruation and Ovulation Calendar (it has a purple flower as the App icon and is just called “M. & O. Cal.” So nice and subtle) but then I downloaded Period Tracker Deluxe for a £1.49 (again, the icon is a flower and it’s called “P Tracker” on your phone). I preferred the second app as I found it a bit easier to use and it had more symptom options if you are into tracking them too as well as your cycle days.