I’ll admit it – I have been completely irrational about my new pregnant-lady appearance this week. It started whilst I was sitting in bed reading when I suddenly spotted what looked suspiciously like wider, more wobbly hips/sides from the corner of my eye. Cue ten minutes of prodding, poking, grabbing and trying to look at myself from all angles in the full-length mirror before resolutely deciding that, yes, I am definitely wider than before. Bollocks.

Hoping it was all in my imagination I asked Sam “Do I look wider here?” whilst grabbing what I felt were handfuls of flab on my hips. He smiled kindly and said “Yes, but you are making a baby so it’s to be expected.” Nope. Not the answer I wanted or expected. I know he meant nothing by it but that vain, over-thinking, overcritical voice in my head that has spent my entire adulthood criticising my own body everyday did take his honest answer to heart a little bit.

I know I’m being melodramatic and that I am relatively lucky in that I have barely put any weight on so far and have a small bump in the grand scheme of things. It just doesn’t help that even the smallest of bumps looks so big to me when I am looking at it from above so for weeks I have felt that I have this massive, unmistakable protrusion poking out in front of me. It has only really been in the last week that people at work have commented on how I am showing properly now. Whilst this is definitely preferable to looking a bit like I’ve piled on the Christmas pounds early I think it has heightened my awareness of my growing size.

23 weeks + 2 days bump!

Jim lurking in the background of my side-on bump!

I do feel much better and comfortable now I am fitting into my new maternity jeans/trousers better. My temporary hair bobble solution for that in-between stage has now passed and I feel better for it as having to extend the width of my usual jeans did make it feel like I had just piled on the pounds rather than having a growing baby in there. I have now got three pairs of maternity bottoms that’ll see my through until the end hopefully:

• I bought my first New Look pair of black under the bump jeggings online for just under £15 (usually £17.99) with a discount voucher. They’re a great skinny fit but they are on the short side for me. I am only 5ft7in but they are a little too short for my jeans-and-trainers look as they temnd to hitch up and get stuck on my socks making me look like I am wearing kids’ jeans! As they are “jeggings” they don’t have a fake fly or pockets so they aren’t as practical – where can I put my phone!? They’re my least favourite.
• There is a Mothercare near my work so I went to have a look at their jeans one day and they have a really good range of different denim washes and lengths. I ended up getting some marbled dark blue jeans, complete with fake fly and pockets, with a band that can be worn either under or over the bump which I thought was a great feature. They were £32 and the price difference compared to the New Look ones shows in the quality.
• I used a Gap 40% discount voucher I had to buy a pair of their over the bump ‘Perfect Black Cords‘ for £27(usually £45, a price I definitely wouldn’t have paid). They are really comfy and I thought they would double up as a pair of work trousers to save me buying some black smart trousers too.

To add insult to injury with me feeling sorry for myself and my expanding middle Sam told me this week that his work are treating them all including wives/girlfriends to a Spa weekend in January. This, of course, is a fantastic treat to look forward to, I love a relaxing day with nice food and spa treatments and I am really grateful. But, because of the way I am feeling this week, my thoughts immediately jumped to what all the other girls will look like in their bikinis compared to what, in my cruel imagination, I am likely to look like at that stage – 32 weeks pregnant to be exact! Something akin to a blimp perhaps. At least my boobs should be bigger by then – that has to be the silver lining, right!?